It's All Just An Act
by LittleSass
Summary: Most people didn't really think about how James felt when Lucy and Kendall got closer. They didn't notice that James was sad because James didn't let them. There are things people don't know about James Diamond because he put on an act to keep them to himself. It isn't until Lucy is about to leave the Palm Woods that he finally expresses how he feels.


**So this is my second Big Time Rush fanfic. I'm glad that some of you liked my other story and I thought I would try to keep writing. I don't know how many more stories will be coming out especially since school is starting soon. But I will try to publish some more because I like writing Jucy stories. This is another quick one shot that just popped into my mind along with some other plot bunnies that might end up making an appearance as time goes on. Anyways I hope you enjoy this story. **

* * *

They just don't understand. Or they don't care. Or I don't know what to think, but it doesn't change the fact that they just don't get it. All people really see me as is the Pretty Boy of Big Time Rush or the ladies man. I mean its true that I can't get almost any girl I want, but it never really lasts that long. I never let it because I'm always afraid if it goes on too long that I'll just be giving them a chance to break me. That's why I have a "not being dumped" winning streak. I dump them before they can hurt me. I know that it isn't nice that I do that to those girls, but it just how it works.

At least that how it used to work. Like I said I could get almost any girl I want. They key word being 'almost'.

The girl that sent my world spiraling, the girl that turned my world upside down, the girl that changed my way of thinking about relationship, the girl that I couldn't get off my mind, is the one girl that I can't have. And of course that girl just had to be the new rocker at the Palm Woods. Lucy Stone.

I never thought that I would want an actual girlfriend. I was always afraid of commitment. My parents divorced when I was young. They didn't really tell me the details; they just said that they were having some problems in their marriage. I still don't even really know what happened that ended their marriage. I don't remember much of the aftermath from the divorce but I do remember my mom was pretty upset. She threw herself into her work even more so than she did before.

Seeing my mom handling her divorce was hard. There were some nights that I would find her crying and it usually happened as she went through an old photo album of her and my dad. It got even harder for her when she found that my dad was remarrying. I was one of very few that have ever seen her cry and I think that I am the only one to see her cry over my dad. It was awful to see one of the strongest person I knew crying from a broken heart. I remember that I would sometimes crawl into her lap and just hug her while she let her tears fall. She did end up moving on but it was still a sight I couldn't rid from my memory.

I was afraid that if I let someone get too close that I could end up with a broken heart like my mother did and I didn't want that.

But Lucy changed all of that. I wanted to get to know her. I wish that she would just give me a chance. The truth is, even though I was afraid of commitment, I have always wanted to find a steady girlfriend. I just never found the right girl. I never found the girl that I could trust my heart with.

It may sound weird but even after getting rejected constantly I want that girl to be Lucy. There may be no logic in wanting a girl I actually barely know to hold my heart but I just feel it. I can usually charm the pants off any girl because I can sometimes channel my inner hopeless romantic side. It's all really confusing but I can't help it. I always feel this way but usually don't do anything because I always think back to my mom. With Lucy I don't want to fight it.

With Lucy Stone I have that feeling that everyone always talks about when they find their true love. You just have that feeling that this person is the one for you. And because of this, I don't give up even when Lucy tells me that she won't go on a date with me.

But now I don't know what to do. I've been pretty depressed when I noticed just how much Lucy was into Kendall and how Kendall was slowly beginning to feel the same way. I've pulled out pretty much everything in order to get her to give me a chance but nothing worked. And in comes Kendall who gets to her without even trying.

I don't know if anyone can tell but I've been jealous of Kendall for awhile now. He's still my best friend and nothing will change that, but I am jealous of him. He was the one Gustavo wanted to make famous, not me. He was the one who was able to win Jo over when all of us were fighting for her attention, not me. He is the one who can keep calm and lead the group, not me. And most importantly, he is the one who has Lucy, not me.

So I've wallowing away in my room since I pushed Kendall into the elevator with Lucy after the whole Beau incident. I guess I was just performing my best friend duty by helping Kendall out. But it also had to due with the fact that I didn't want Lucy to find out about Beau the wrong way and end of hurt. Whether she knows it or not I feel like I can't let anything hurt her and I just want what is best for her. If she's happy with Kendall, I'll let her be with Kendall.

That doesn't exactly mean I have to like it though.

I'm interrupted from my thoughts when I hear the door to my room being opened.

"Oh hey Katie." I say to Kendall's little sister. She is practically my little sister. I've known her as long as I've known Kendall and I love her like my own sister. She is always there for me when I needed someone. I know I can trust her and she is my little confidant. She knows the truth. She knows how devastated I was when I saw Kendall winning Lucy's attention. She was the one who comforted me when every time I would be in my room upset when I was turned down by Lucy and was planning my next idea to get her to like me.

"Hey James. I brought you some dinosaur chicken. I know how much you like it and I thought you could use a bit of a pick me up." I smiled at her and gratefully took the plate from her, nodding my thanks. She then takes a seat next to me on my bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Sad beyond belief. Why is it that Kendall always gets the girl? Why is it never me? I never get the girl that I'm ever truly interested in. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you James. You are sweet, caring, good looking, protective of those you love, and every girl's dream."

"You think I'm good looking?"

"Is that the only thing you got from that?"

"Pretty much."

"James, I've known you almost my whole life. Yes, sometimes you can be shallow and narcissistic, but underneath that you have a big heart. You were always there with a bowl of soup and funny stories for all of us when we get sick. You're the one ready to make everyone happy because that's just how you are. You are so protective of the people you love. Like the time that you followed me and Kyle everywhere when we went on that date. Even though I hated you for doing that, I knew that you only did it because you cared. Any girl would be lucky to go out with you."

"But why can't I be lucky enough to get the girl I want?" I say as tears gather in my eyes but never fall. I am actually a very emotional person. Some people may not really see it but I can get pretty emotional.

"They're crazy for not being able to see what a great guy you really are. I know that you're hurt about the whole Kendall and Lucy thing, but like I said, you were willing to let it happen because you thought that it would make Lucy happy."

"Doesn't mean that I'm happy about it. It doesn't mean that it hurts me any less."

"I know it hurts, James. Kendall may be my brother, but so are you. I care about you just as much as I care about Kendall and I hope you know that. I love you like my own brother and I'm gonna try to help you get through this. Whether it be helping you move on or helping you get by until your happy ever after begins." She tells me as she allows her hand to rest on my shoulder.

"Thanks, Katie." I pull her into a big brotherly hug. "I love you, too."

* * *

We all know that Jo is back and we also know that Kendall has to choose between Jo and Lucy. No matter who he chooses, he will be hurting someone in the end. And whoever Kendall doesn't pick is going to be leaving the Palm Woods, meaning everyone will be losing at least one friend. Logan and Camille decided that they would try to help Kendall pick who is best for him. I decide that I'm not going to get involved. It's probably better that way too. Kendall needs to pick who is best for him and he will do that by following his heart and letting it decide, not by having all of us breathing down his neck throwing out the pros and cons of each relationship.

I decide to just spend my time down by the pool and work on my tan. Later in the day though, I see Lucy in the lobby with her stuff and I immediately rush over to her.

When I reach her I see a sight that breaks my heart. She has an angry face, but if you look more closely you can see that she was unshed tears welled up in her eyes.

"Lucy, what's wrong?" I say concerned.

"Kendall picked Jo. After I found out, I packed my stuff. I'm leaving the Palm Woods." She said in a tone that would usually give off the impression that she is upset but is unaffected by it. But I know that tone. It's the tone my mom had for awhile after her divorce. Lucy was hurting but she didn't want anyone knowing.

"Lucy, you don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do James. You don't get it, Kendall doesn't want me here, Jo probably wouldn't want me here either, and I can't stay here and watch them together when I know that he picked her over me. So I'm leaving. No one wants me here."

"I want you here. Okay, I want you here Lucy." I tell her as I tentatively reach over, put her things on the ground, and grab her hand, holding it lightly, just so that she's knows I'm here. "I don't want you to leave, Lucy. If you leave you'll be leaving a lot of people behind. What about Camille? She has become one of your best friends while you were here. I'm sure she'll be upset that you're leaving."

"But she was Jo's friend first."

"That doesn't mean that you and Camille can't be friends. And what about Logan and Carlos? You know that they love having you around. I'm positive that they will miss you. I mean Carlos might even shed a few tears if you go." I get a small chuckle which is a good sign.

"Yeah, but they'll get over it and move on. There are people who come in and out of the Palm Woods everyday. They are sure to find another friend."

"And what about me? Do you know how I would feel if you left?" She shakes her head. I take in a huge breath hoping that it will instill some courage into me. "Well I'll tell you how I would feel. I would be devastated. You're different from all the other girls in Hollywood. You're not one of those girls who came here hoping that their good looks would make they famous. You came here with an intention to make yourself famous through your music. You found out that we were all completely nuts yet you still wanted to hang out with us. You completely changed my life whether you knew it or not. Yes I want to be with you and that's why I never gave up on asking you out even though you said no all the other times. But I realized that I just want to be there for you, in anyway you want and need me. If you just need a friend and a shoulder to cry on, I'll be there for you, anytime of the day. I would take being hurt but seeing you happy over never seeing you again any day. I'm just saying that I would be crushed if you left."

"Why, James? Why me?"

"Because you're different. I've never felt this way about another girl before. I may not be able to explain it, but I know that we would be good together, I just need one chance to prove to you that we could be amazing. I can't just stand here and watch you leave Lucy. You have to stay."

"But it hurts James. I don't know if I can watch them together."

"I know it hurts." And boy do I know it hurts. I pull her towards me and wrap my arms around her tightly. To my surprise she doesn't resist it, I even find her snuggling herself into my chest. "But I will be here for you and so will all of our other friends. I will be here for you, to help make it easier until it no longer bothers you and you can be happy again."

"You're already doing that."

"I'm going to be here to protect. I can't let anything hurt you and I know that I can't really promise something like that but I promise you that I will do everything I can to protect you. I promise, Lucy."

She pulls her head out to look up at me. "That is the nicest thing that anyone has ever said to me. I don't deserve you and your kindness and your promises after all the times I rejected you James."

"I think it's my choice if I want to be there for you after everything or not. I choose to be there for you and put everything behind us. What do you say?"

"Do you think you could give me another chance?"

"Absolutely."

"Then I guess I'm staying at the Palm Woods." She smiles up at me and from that moment I promise to myself that I will try my hardest to get her to smile that beautiful smile as much as possible. She leans up and plants a kiss on my cheek. "Thank you, James."

"No, Lucy. Thank you for staying. Now how about you and I take all of your stuff back to your room and get you settled back in?"

"I think that sounds perfect."

I give her a smile and grab her stuff before offering her my hand. She takes it and we walk hand in hand to the elevator and I have the feeling that things are finally in my favor. I finally have the girl.


End file.
